Thursday, November 4, 2010

My worst fear...

(sorry if your male and reading this)

i'm re-living for the second time in my life

i have an "issue" with my left breast...
my family history of breast cancer is off the charts..
(mom = one time breast cancer survivor
aunt = two time breast cancer survivor
aunt = did not survive breast cancer
grandma = did not survive breast cancer)
now you know why it's my worst fear?
i waited a week before calling my dr, i wanted to be sure i hadn't bumped it and forgot about it, so i was giving the soreness time to go away
yeah, soreness
people have been telling me, it's sore?  then it's not cancer!
not true.....my mom's both times and my aunts both times were sore and hurt.
not sure why, but that's been their history
my first time (not cancer) but a lump, was not sore and it was removed when i was 24

it's so sore i can't bump against it and i'm wearing a sports bra around the clock, can't stand to go without it, gravity is not being nice to me

i have a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound on the 12th
please just pray my mind will be some what at ease.....with the 12th being on a Friday i don't expect results that day

love you all

33 comments:

  1. I'm sorry Tonya, I know how scary the waiting is :( You will be in my prayers - I have a big appt. next Weds for my heart - let's pray for each other.

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  2. Being an inflammatory breast cancer survivor I will be praying for you and please keep us all posted. Nola

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  3. The scary part is waiting...I pray you get good news

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  4. sending some love and prayers!

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  5. Tonya......can you ask them if a radiologist could be there when the test is done? If there is one there, they might be able to read it right away for you.....I had that done one time some years back and they gave me immediate results. Gosh...I hate to have you wait through another weekend once the test is done before you get results. Prayers will continue, of course.....

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  6. Tonya, I found my first lump at 19, but not cancer. No cancer history of cancer in my family, either, so I can only imagine your fears. I am hoping it is only cysts, which I had, and can be very painful. Lots of positive thoughts and energy coming your way, girl.

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  7. I'll be thinking about you and keeping all digits crossed for good results! xoxo

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  8. Tonya I'll be thinking of you and praying everything checks out alright.

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  9. Good thoughts and prayers being sent you you. Please know that you're not alone... We're all worried about you and care about you.

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  10. I was going to email you today to see what was up.....so sorry to hear about this. It is most frightening. When my son David was seven I had to go in for a sonagram because the mamogram did not do the trick...I was so nervous for weeks before and after waiting for the results. My heart goes out to you and many prayers will be said in your behalf.

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  11. Sending you masses of love and strength and be well vibes Tonya.
    My prayers are with you
    Bonnie
    xx

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  12. Big hugs! Like Barb, I was going to email you today to check on you. I hope you get your results quickly and that they're good. I'll be thinking of you.

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  13. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. No need to be sorry for "male readers" - at least not me. I work with health care so I have heard it all. (things I wouldn't repeat!)

    You are right, common thought is "it hurts, it can't be cancer" but it can. Get it checked (I know YOU will, but will the other readers?)

    Big hugs!!!!

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  14. Aww Tonya, no fun. My mom and MIL are both breast cancer survivors. I had a benign lump at 15 or 16 removed. Will be praying for you.

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  15. Keep your head held high, keep thinking positive thoughts, breathe deep so you don't stress out. stress is not good in these situations. I will keep you in my prayers, people do survive these things.

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  16. The waiting can be so hard. I went through all that last month. All is well for me and I will be praying the same for you. Blessings!

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  17. Will hold you tightly in my heart and pray for strength to carry you through.

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  18. You're so right about the checkup. Being sore doesn't mean it's not cancer, as you well know. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  19. Waiting is the worst BUT I am so glad you are getting checked.

    Prayers and gentle hugs for you!

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  20. My prayers will be with you. And you have just kicked me in the butt to go get my mamogram. Thank you. Bless you.

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  21. Keeping you in my thoughts sweet gal!Waiting is hard. I have a 17th appt that seems like yrs away.
    Hang in there.
    XO

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  22. Hi Tonya, Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. The waiting is the worst, I hope you'll hear good news soon.

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  23. I can certainly understand your fears, Tonya. I will pray that as well as getting good results, that you will be able to find some calm as you await the results.

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  24. You are most definitely in my prayers! I have always heard that it doesn't hurt too - now I know better.

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  25. Prayers going out for you!!!!!

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  26. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, Tonya. I hope your test on Friday will be negative.

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  27. Oh Tonya, bless your heart I am thinking of you my friend, How come you got to wait til 12th. Get in now.
    Love being sent across the pond in bucket fulls.

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  28. My mom is in the throes of chemo right now - and she says waiting on test results is the hardest hardest part. Sending positive and calming thoughts your way -

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  29. Tonya, sends loads of warmth thoughts your way. Hopefully it will be a benign lump again. I can only imagine how your mind is racing. I know there is nothing I can say or do to ease the worry but know that you have many friends that are thinking of you.

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  30. I also come from a family of breast cancer survivors and non-survivors. So it comes with the territory to be worried for our own health future. My prayers are with you - hoping it turns out to be something totally benign and innocent.

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  31. My heart goes out to you and my prayers go with you. Wishing you the best!
    Micki

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