Wednesday, November 16, 2011

It's personal.........

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the next 6-12 months will be the longest of my life
after months and months of planning, psych visits, therapy, rehab and many meetings
we've made the decision along with all his dr's to get E some extensive inpatient therapy
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i won't go into details, cause well.......it's personal
when he hears me talking on the phone to my mom, before he knows it's my mom, he gets really 
angry that i'm telling people, so.....to honor my sweet E, i won't go into details on the "internet"
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who knows if i'll blog or if i'll lay in bed and cry all day...who knows?
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you might remember awhile back i was making a t-shirt quilt from his shirts
well, that was for me while he was away, then of course i'd give it to him when he returned home
well.........it's all jacked up and i'm not sure i can fix it before he goes....i'm actually discourage with the quilt as this point.
he still has one of his baby blankets, i will be taking that while he's away
i wish i wouldn't have messed up the t-shirt quilt
it is what it is...........
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so......i'm not sure what the next 6-12 months will be like, other than LONELY
pop in and check on me every now and then
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19 comments:

  1. Many hugs and blessings for you and your family - know you are wrapped in love with your blogging friends.

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  2. Tonya, I've been thinking of you and will continue to do so.

    Is there someone nearby who could help you work out the T-shirt quilt? I wish I was closer or knew what to do to help. Many hugs to you.

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  3. Tonya. I can help you with your t-shirt quilt. Call me when you are ready. You can bring it to my place. I'll make you some tea or coffee. You can relax and we'll work on your quilt together.

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  4. Tonya. So many hugs and love going out to you. You will never ever get over wanting to make things better for your kids. Regardless of how old you or they are. I can't imagine how your heart is hurting. Just know you are doing the right thing for E and for you. I wish at least some peace for you during this season. I love you.

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  5. Tonya, I'm sorry. I know you've been sad for a while. Now that the decision is made, I hope you feel some relief. I think you should take Sheila up on her offer, it will help you work through this. My thoughts are with you.

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  6. Hugs to you and E. I know how hard it is to do the right thing for our babes sometimes.Take care.

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  7. My thoughts and prayers are with you, E and your family during this time and beyond. Thank you for sharing so that I can lift you up prayer...

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  8. Be strong, Tonya. I know you wouldn't make this decision if you didn't truly believe it is right. That won't make it less lonely, I know. Sometimes a mama's love is a painful one.

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  9. Tonya, I feel your pain in every word. Believe me when I say, I think we have a lot in common.

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  10. I can't begin to imagine how hard this will be. Big hugs to all of you.

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  11. Hang in there! Life is so challenging sometimes. Maybe fixing that quilt can be your own therapy while he is gone. A small way to hold him tight in your heart when you are feeling lonely. My prayers are with your whole family.

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  12. Having worked in inpatient treatment, I know you are hurting as you make the best decision given the information you have. My heart and prayers go out to you and yours. Your job right now is to heal yourself while E is doing the same thing. He needs a strong, healthy mother to come home to. Prayers.

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  13. Amen to what Gari said....and we are here to listen and help in whatever way we can given the limitations of living such a distance from you. I think it would be good for you to work on that quilt with Sheila and I hope you take her up on her offer. I truly believe you are doing what is best and I think there will come a time when you look back and are very happy you made this decision...even though it will be rough sledding for you for several months! Hugs to you, my friend, and to E, also (but don't tell him that as he'll get angry that you told me about this).

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  14. Tough decision, but praying it will all be worth it in the long run. Praying for you and E.

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  15. Sending good thoughts for both you and E. Such a hard thing to go through.

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  16. sending lots of prayers and good wishes. lots and lots of love.

    so sorry i didn't read this sooner.

    do your best to have a decent? thanksgiving.

    love ya girl!

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  17. ps let me know if you need help on your quilt or if you want to sew together one day.

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