So, first I want to know if E is the only child that can't sleep past 5am? He has never slept good, ever!! He's only been sleeping in his bed for about 3 years. He's 8! He has terrible fears......... I used to let him stay up late in hopes that he would sleep late. Well, once I learned that wasn't going to happen, I started making him go to bed at the same time every night regardless if it was the weekend or not. Well..........he goes to sleep just fine. However, he'll always get up between 12-3am and want to sleep in our bed or our floor. He slept in our floor for his first 5 years. When we finally broke him of that at age 5, I said NEVER AGAIN! So, I always make him go back to bed. Now, I'm starting to notice, he's not going back to bed.......he gets on the couch and sometimes falls back asleep till 5am and sometimes don't fall back asleep at all. WHAT GIVES!! His Dr. is fully aware of the situation. Back to the fear issue, it's being addressed and he goes to counseling. Long story, however, his fears are legit.
I have always slept alot and require alot of sleep. It don't help that most of my meds make me sleepy or groggy. I could always make up the sleep while he's at school. When it's been a really bad couple of days, my mom will come and get E and take him to her house for me to nap. Well, this is the summer and no sleep and no naps are happening. The hubs (as you all know) is now on the night shift. So, that means he sleeps during the day. Sometimes he'll get up early (he's never slept much) and let me take a nap. The last two weeks have been pretty bad. I'm starting to feel the effects of it. Very run down and just beat.
Any suggestions?? I know this has nothing to do with quilts. And it's so early in the morning right now, I just needed to vent this out.
Hmmmmm....this does sound like a tricky problem. I"m thinking the only thing you can do now that E is 8 (or was he just 9??), is you can permit him to do certain things ONLY when he wakes up that early and tell him he must be quiet when he does them and must do them in HIS room......reading or a hand-held electronic game with sound OFF. Or if you feel you must get up when he does, then tell him he has to do something quietly in YOUR room during a nap time for you when you need it. After awhile, he may not like having to retreat to YOUR room in the middle of the day and may learn that it's better to stay quietly in his own room with permitted quiet activities until a specified time each morning....maybe 6:30 as a compromise??? As he gets older, you won't have to worry as much about him not being supervised while you sleep....but right now, I can see this is a difficult problem. (My first thought was to talk to the doctor and counselor, but...obviously they are aware of this. Have they given you NO suggestions?) Don't worry that it's not quilt related...we are all here to help each other and support each other in all areas of our lives, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteBummer for you! But I'm no help:( I do the same as E. I sleep for a bit than go on the couch, but 5am comes along & BOING I'm awake!!
ReplyDeleteNo matter what time I go to bed!
Hope you get some rest!
I think Pat's' suggestions are excellent. Since there are fear issues and you're dealing with it, it seems that your objective would be to change his behavior enough for you to get the sleep you need. I wish you well with that, and will keep all of you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI think this is the perfect place to vent. It has been so long since I had a child with sleep issues I don't have any suggestions other than go back to the doctor or counselor and badger him/her for some ideas. Also, if you get him sleeping later now then when school starts he has to get up early again. I have problems sleeping myself and it is hard to function when you haven't slept. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteIf we lived closer he could come to my house at 5 a.m. We're very early risers - no matter what time we go to be.
ReplyDeleteMy kids were all up at the crack of dawn (until they became teenagers when you can't get them out of bed).
All I can add is to let him do something quietly in the morning while you still sleep. Let him know how grown up he is and how much you trust him to entertain himself for a couple of hours while you sleep. It will be good for him. I'm sure he knows what he can and cannot do after eight years.
We had kids in our bed F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!! I worked until midnight and just did not have the energy to move them back to their own beds. Eventually they grow out of it. Good luck.
Pat had some awesome suggestions. Set very clear limits on what he can and cannot do in the early hours of the morning. I would eliminate televison from these early mornings completely the hand held video games and reading would be okay but limit the video games as they tend to stimulate more than relax. Hang in there this to will pass. I will keep you in my prayers that all will be resolved soon.
ReplyDeleteThat's quite a problem. Once i am woken up, I can't go back to sleep, and then if you don't get enough sleep, you are tired all day!
ReplyDeleteMicki
E will be a teenager in a few years and all he will want to do is sleep! In the mean time, I don't have any solutions for you.
ReplyDeletePat's ideas are good ones.
ReplyDeleteWe had the rule in our home if the kids/grands woke up early they had to be play quietly till we were up. Bedtime stayed same till they were teens and sports.
E knows at 8 what he can and can't do without you so just give it a go see how it works out.
Hugs!
Oh my goodness...like having a new born??? I don't know what to tell you. I am sorry you are not getting the rest you need, I know how eventually you get run down like you are now. I am tired just thinking of it.....I do know that your son is old enough to be on his own in the mornings....he can get his own breakfast, he can get dressed on his own...just let him go until you get up?? If you trust him on the computer.....and TV...I know, babysitters but what else can you do?
ReplyDeleteGood Luck. I don't have much advice for you. My older step-son doesn't sleep much either, nor does his dad. But he rarely gets up for hours in the middle of the night. Hope you get some sleep soon!
ReplyDeleteTonya, I think Pat has some good advice. My daughter was a non-sleeper. We had books and coloring and Colorforms and things. No TV till a certain time. And if you need a nap, maybe he could spend some quiet time in his room then? If you are dead tired, you are likely going to fall asleep at some point during the day anyway. Better to just plan for it.
ReplyDeleteHi Tonya!
ReplyDeleteIs E getting talk therapy and/ or Art therapy? An active therapy would help him modulate and express his fears and transform his anxiety into something positive and calm him. If you would like to talk more about it e-mail me.
love, kelee
Hi Tonya, Have you tried the usual things before E goes to bed warm milk no programs on TV that may cause problems sleeping.
ReplyDeleteAlso how about putting some warm milk or some other warm drink at the side of his bed & saying to him that he can drink that when he wakes but he must stay in his room so if he is awake he not waking you.
My kids at times would wake early but would be in their rooms so it wasn't until either the alarm or them knocking on the door would i get up now i wish it was like that i have bad nights & i don't have to get up for anyone.
Has the sleep been worst since DH gone on nights may be he scared/missing him being there there is not much that can be done not without medication & i wouldn't want to go that route myself with my son
Hugs Janice
My youngest son had a really hard time getting to sleep, and staying asleep. It was hard on all of us. He would come into our room and say, I can't sleep, and I'd go rub his back. I had to be at work in the morning. This was just one issue we were dealing with, and when he was 11 he was diagnosed with ADD. The smallest of sounds would distract him. He did take Ritalin through his school years, allowing him to sleep and concentrate in class, but it's not always the best fix. He quit taking his meds in High School and was skipping classes and did not graduate. When he took his GED, he had the highest test score they had ever seen in our area. He has grown into a responsible, productive young man. Now I need a wife for him!
ReplyDeleteCan you make his bedroom the coolest place ever? Some place he would rather be than anywhere, even if it is over the top? His favorite colors, television, legos, books, art supplies, everything he might love? That way MAYBE he would stay in there when he wakes up and just play and fall back asleep or learn to slowly love his room as a safe and wonderful place? What about a pet in his room, like a hamster, so he won't be lonely in there?
ReplyDeleteI wish I could give you some good advice, but I can`t. With a sick child, the only thing I can control is the way I look at life. I believe that my body and mental health got better when I decided to look at my glass as half full rather than half empty. Thinking positive is my medicine. Sometimes it`s hard, but it is even harder if I don`t. I hope you get more rest soon, I`ll be thinking of you :)
ReplyDeleteSorry I'm a little late on reading this one, but I can say Sophia is exactly the same. The only thing I've found to work is extreme physical activity during the day. (But I still find myself most nights sleeping in her bed with her for a few hours). We started with her in our bed some but she's too violent of a sleeper and we were getting a lot of bruises, kicks, punches. I'm hoping perhaps having a little brother will help keep her in her room more. I do advise getting a bedtime and sticking to it. I did the same as you letting her just stay awake to get tired and all it did was cause me to feel horrible all day long! We're still fighting this.
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